NMRC Chai Blog

Good lord, I have a headache.

I was sick last weekend, and it wrecked my stomach, so to try and make things better I'm trying to decaf things as much as possible. All week I've been drinking decaf iced chai (Tazo actually makes one, in case you are wondering). So my body is rebeling and the voices are REALLY LOUD in my head right now. I told them to knock that shit off, or they're getting the Q-Tip again.

Just booked my hotel for Vegas for BlackHat and DefCon. Getting all ready, and starting to get excited about it. Always a blast, always fun. I'll try to blog from there, although odds are I will blow it off. Too busy par-tay-ing.

SBC is pissing my off today though. Thanks for fucking up the reverse lookups after 5 different phone calls and 9 different people. "Just sent us an email." Fuck you, you broke my DNS and your mail system doesn't like it. You fix it.

On my way to Starbucks, there are a couple of school zones. While I don't mind slowing down during the regular school year, I totally object to slowing down in the summer. They have the flashing lights to let you know to slow down, and regular school is out! This sucks, I've got chai to drink.

The main reason is pisses me off is because of summer school. I figure that I should be able to drive at a normal rate of speed during the summer through a school zone for the following reasons:

• If you are dumb enough to be in summer school, the odds of you being removed from the gene pool should be increased during the time you are in summer school. Study more, for christsake.


• If you are not book smart, maybe you're not college material. Then you probably need to hone up on your street smarts, because you're entering the work force full time at least four years before the others. First rule of street smarts? Don't get hit by a car.


• I drink iced chai, which tastes better when it is hot and it is not only quenching my chai jones but cooling me off. Don't make me slow down for dumb kids getting my chai during the summer. Fuck that.

As many of you know, a my New Year's Resolution was to "keep on rockin', every day this year". One element to this was to fuel myself with tons of chai, which I have been doing fairly religiously this week. Yesterday for example I made three trips to Starbucks. Today I anticipate at least one trip since Weasel and I will be heading to DC214 this evening and we meet at a Starbucks before heading over.

Of course another element is music, and to this end I have decided to list some music that is essential for rockin' every day.

• Tool - They rock, in fact this could be extended to include A Perfect Circle as well.


• Tenacious D - There can be no other.


• Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - In particular is their latest CD of R&B covers, Take a Break. The cover of "I'll Be There" is worth the entire CD.

There are also some individual songs you should consider when you are trying to rock. Here are a few classics:

• Hocus Pocus by Focus. From their Moving Waves album. Nothing like nonsense lyrics, virtuoso yodeling, and heavy metal noodling guitar.


• Highway Star by Deep Purple. From their Machine Head album. Rockin' old school metal. From before the David Coverdale days, when he essentially ruined the band.


• Radar Love by Golden Earring. Actually, the live versions from various bootlegs are more entertaining, since this was the spot in the show where they did the drum solo.


• Ogre Battle by Queen. From the early part of their career, off of the album Queen II. This was well before the seemingly commercial outings like A Night At The Opera. The entire Queen II album rocks, though.


• Bastille Day by Rush. While the version from the early Rush classic Caress of Steel is decent, the truly rockin' version is from the live album All The World's A Stage, recorded back when Geddy Lee still shrieked lyrics instead of that normal singing crap he did later in Rush's career.


• Time Machine by Black Sabbath. This was on the Wayne's World II soundtrack, and is a version of Black Sabbath that featured Ronnie James Dio on vocals instead of Ozzy. Pretty much all of the Dio stuff sucked except for this song.

Another HellNBak story, this one from IRC....

<s-nomad> no ops for hellnbak until we are entertained with another stabbing story

<daaihliuh> ops for everyone, except ppl who have pissed on a mcdonalds :)

<hellnbak> haha

<-- cask3t has quit ()

<hellnbak> How about a getting beaten by a man weilding a rock story?

<hellnbak> or have I told that one?

<s-nomad> no you have not

<hellnbak> hehe ok gimme a second gotta dial into a conf call

--> inertia (~inertia@talon.nmrc.org) has joined #nmrc

<inertia> deadlines = teh suck

<hellnbak> yeah, your boss is an asshole

<hellnbak> oh wait 

<hellnbak> shit 

<hellnbak> ok the man with a brick story

<inertia> i don't know if i should agree with you or not 

<hellnbak> haha

<hellnbak> So this story is from when the guys in Japan were here a few weeks before CanSecWest

<hellnbak> We went out and had a company dinner / drink night

<s-nomad> sounds tame so far...

<hellnbak> We drank A LOT at last count I was up to 37 double JAck Daniels and cokes.  This was still at the resturrant

<hellnbak> I am told that I attempted ot start a fight with these 4 guys at the resturant -- no one knows why but luckily no fight happened.

<hellnbak> So we left the resturant and decided to go to a night club

<hellnbak> We went to the local rock bar - The Back Alley and it was dead

<s-nomad> smart move

<hellnbak> so we left and went to this stupid place called Outlaws that is a real shitty bar but on a Wednesday night our choises were limited

<hellnbak> We were hanging out in the bar and for some reason -- that I still do no know -- this guy jumps me from behind and headbuts me

<hellnbak> so as I flipped him off my shoulder I smashed my drink glass into his face

<hellnbak> I was very drunk and feeling pretty brave so I stood over him and challenged him to get up <hellnbak> the bouncers ran over and threw him out as they saw the whole thing and said I did nothign wrong <hellnbak> I went and replaced my drink, but then the bouncer came back and said that their boss says I have to leave 

<hellnbak> I left without incident but stodd at the door arguing with teh bouncer about why I was kicked out for defending myself

<hellnbak> all of a sudden the bouncer says -- watch your head I turned just in time to see this fucker with a rock in his hand hit me square in the face

<hellnbak> and then a couple times in the head 

<s-nomad> wow, fun 

<hellnbak> I grabbed him arm and wrestled him to the ground and started punching him back... by this time my shirt was ripped, my pants were ripped and I was bleeding a lot.

<hellnbak> the bouncers broke us up adn the guy walked over into the parking lot where the bouncers will not go due to liability reasons etc...

<hellnbak> So at this time I actually get a look at this guy and the first thought that comes to mind was "wow, we both have a six pack only mine is full of beer" he was a large man who looked like he lifts large things all day

<hellnbak> he was standing in the parking lot challenging me to a fight

<inertia> so that's when you pulled out your .45

<s-nomad> hehehe

<hellnbak> The bouncer told me that the cops have been called and asked me if I was actually going to fight him

<inertia> ... oh wait, this is canada... sry

<inertia> i'm in texas... i just assumed

<hellnbak> I shook my head, and said "I have no choice"

<hellnbak> and walked out to the parking lot

<s-nomad> oh man you are a fucking idiot

<inertia> lol

--- s-nomad gives channel operator status to hellnbak

<hellnbak> The guy hit me about 3 times until I managed to push him over to the ground

<hellnbak> I jammed my kneed into his crotch as hard as I could and just starting punching as hard as I can

--- s-nomad gives channel operator status to inertia

<hellnbak> from the way I was holding him down he was only able to punch me in the chest and back

<hellnbak> I saw out of the corner of my eye a cop car pull up

<hellnbak> the cop with the assistance of the bouncers pulled me off of him and based on teh bouncers direction put him in handcuffs

<hellnbak> I was given the option of pressing charges and I declined

<s-nomad> as any ninja would

<hellnbak> The bouncer then asked me if I needed a cab and I replied "I would really like to just go have a beer with my friends"

<s-nomad> I'm reading this to kim and she just she "wuss" on the pressing charges thing

<s-nomad> heh

<hellnbak> so they let me back into the bar -- coverred in blood, with broken glasses and very bruised

<hellnbak> and bought me a beer 

<s-nomad> good god

<inertia> lol

<hellnbak> my friends including Greg were all mortified as I was litterally covered in blood

<hellnbak> and my shirt was so ripped it was barely on

<inertia> "this party's just getting started!"

<hellnbak> haha 

<hellnbak> I had about 3 or 4 more drinks then went home 

<hellnbak> and was sore for at least a week

* s-nomad wonders if hellnbak has seen the movie leaving las vegas

It's early, but fortunately the wife went to Starbucks and picked me up some chai. Very strong, very sweet. Yum.

The lab is coming along nicely. The mail server is chugging away, the out-sourced web server is chugging away, all logging and IDS stuff is wasting disk space with hack attempts I really don't even care about, although I have two separate systems running Fedora that keep crashing due to memory leaks. Tracking down the offending apps is a trick, for my ninja-like skillz are for security issues, not basic sys admin bullshit like system stability. Ah well, they stayed up last night after some upgrades so maybe things are licked.

Speaking of things licked, Sandra Bullock is dating someone new. Bitch. She didn't even show up to my birthday party when she was invited, after I went to all the trouble to get her address from that Southwestern Bell FTP server that was wide open. And the wife was even cool about it ("oh sure, *if* she shows up, *yes* you can ask her to sleep with you, HAHAHAHAHA"), but she never made it. Alas, neither did Michelle Pfeiffer. Guess they both found out I invited two potential extra martial sex partners and both bowed out. Anyway, I hope Sandra realizes she could be getting some extremely high quality no-strings-attached sex from me instead of that monster garage loser guy she's seeing now.

Ah, buzzing off of my last trip to Starbucks. I have been blessed in that I haven't had to deal with that idiot manager there.

So here's a HellNBak story to scare you from hanging out with HellNBak at DefCon.

I got this story from one of the hackers working for HellNBak's start-up. In fact he works for HellNBak. And he told he the story in front of HellNBak who didn't remember it because of all the drinking involved. The evening in question was at CanSecWest in Vancouver, Canada. It seems HellNBak decided whoever was with him should engage in a drinking contest. A typical round seemed to consist of 5 shots of Tequila chased with whiskey. I'll let you think about that for a second. One round consisting of six drinks. It went on for several rounds. After leaving the bar, walking around in the middle of the night in downtown Vancouver, HellNBak decides that he should "re-enact" some riot that occurred there. While I wasn't exactly sure what riot it was, I mean fuck, does it matter?

HellNBak proceeded to run down the street in the middle of the night yelling and screaming knocking over every newspaper stand, sign, and trash can that wasn't nailed or cemented down. He then decided to smash some plate-glass windows with his fist, but was unsuccessful in window breaking.

After the riot, the group decided it needed some food, and headed to an all-night McDonald's. Have you ever been to an all-night McDonald's in a large city in the middle of the night? Nothing but old homeless men, spending the minimum amount possible for a place to sit inside out of the cold. HellNBak decided he needed to fight all of them because they were all "bums", and was basically yelling obscenities at all of them. The Chinese guy behind the counter was a little freaked out, and of course jet-setting HellNBak sees him and now can't figure out what country he's in. "Dude, are we in Tokyo? When did we get here in Tokyo?". HellNBak's friends offered to take HellNBak over to closed-off section with the promise that they'd clean it up themselves and "keep this guy under control" if they could just get some food. Miraculously, the Ronnie Mac folk agreed.

After every french fry container and Big Mac box was emptied, HellNBak would hurl the empty container at a homeless guy, along with a few choice insults. Now homeless people are not dumb, they realize that drunken business guy means potential handout, so all of these disheveled homeless guys begin gathering around the front door of McDonald's anticipating the exodus of HellNBak. Reports said it looked like some type of scene from Night of the Living Dead.

When they finally left, HellNBak needed to take a piss, and proceeding to do so on the McDonald's front window. Now remember he is hearing this story at the same time I am, and even he is a little taken back by this claim. "Oh man, I must have thought I was in the bathroom". "No you didn't, dude, you were yelling things like 'Hey look, I'm pissing on McDonald's!' while trying to swat away homeless guys asking for money". Oh sure, there's more, like him trying to hire a "bum because he's smart, man this one knows stuff" but you get the basic idea.

It should be obvious why HellNBak is a member of NMRC. Not only can he do this shit, he knows how to hack and actually secure a Windows machine -- no easy feat.

And we'll see you all in Las Vegas, baby.....

Man what a busy couple of weeks this has been. I need to rearrange my priorities in a serious fashion, and focus more on chai instead of the wife's hospital and surgery, serious demands from work, and paying bills etc etc. Chai rules.

In fact, apparently my iced chai is truly a man's drink. That's right, I said a man's drink. Last night was the DC214 meeting over in Dallas, so as is our ritual I met up with Weasel at a Starbucks. He decided to order the 7 pump iced chai with no milk I usually get. He even thought it was too weak tasting, which is the true sign of a chai expert. However it made him slightly nauseous. That's right, baby, bring your iron stomaches before you touch this mutha fucka's drink. I had had one in the afternoon, and then one waiting for Weasel to show up, and that second one was a fucking 12 pump. I was up until like 2am, which really sucked when I got up at 7am....

Speaking of the DC214 meeting, these meetings have been a lot of fun. I know some of the DC Groups meetings have been script kiddie 2600 affairs, so it is nice that this is a decent group with people seriously interested in hacking with a wide variety of skill sets and levels. That and if you like drinking there is a serious amount of it going on there.

Maybe next post I'll tell the HellNbak story I told at the dinner after the meeting. Pretty wild.